artistry

As I wait in central Forum Hotel for the start of the Training of Trainers session which I am, as team Leader, to kick-off, I have a nice chat with Belin Molev (an architect by background and ex-Deputy Minister of Regional Development here for some years) who is now a key trainer for the ToTs for Objective Three SF work. I declare myself a terrorist as far as Malls are concerned and extol the civility of central Sofia - now hanging by a thread. The word „globalisation” is like a red rag to a bull – „more of us can and need to say simply NO” I thunder. Not the most diplomatic of ways to introduce oneself - but I feel a kindred spirit. Six local officials selected by an intensive process Dicon explain to me later have beaten the snowy conditions to get to the Hotel by 09.00 from various parts of Bulgaria – and are clearly keen to start this 2 day session which will launch them into about 25 two-day courses over the next 18 months. I open the session by saying how much I enjoy coming to Sofia (so true!); describing very briefly the training work I did here 3 years ago and saying that my favourite activity was the work with trainers like themselves (true again). They are the engine of the system! Not only do they need the (theoretical and practical) technical knowledge but they have to develop an understanding of (and sympathy for) the trainees’needs and, finally, they need to develop the methods and skills to meet those needs. And they need, above all, an open mind and passion. To treat each workshop as an opportunity for them to develop their understanding and skills. This was the lesson I took from my last project here – and whose philosophy and tools is captured in one of the papers on the website - What do we have to do to ensure that training helps people learn?.Then back to the Dicon Office – for a presentation of the draft Progress report. Very impressive how they in just 20 days (including Xmas and Boxing Days!!) got 140 CVs and whittled them down to 36 trainers for 6 modules (with 10 reserves) – and now have more than 3,000 officials designated by all 2oo plus municipalities available for workshops which will start in March and be held in each of the 40 Districts. This is a new role for me – hands-off, supportive, reflective. I’m glad I’m able to offer a couple of practical ideas – to which they seem receptive. The staff I meet are also impressive – particularly young Danny who is helping me produce a personal visiting card which I want to use to market my website. I’ve (almost) decided to use the designation „explorer”. Perhaps „explorer and epicurean”?? At lunch, he introduces me to a great dessert - honey, nut and whipped yoghourt!
I’m free by mid-afternoon – and in a hurry to get to Neros gallery – but I discover that the trams are no longer coming past the synagogue and mosque to Vitosha; the metro works are still going on and I have to walk. Par hasard, I pass the antique shop where D and I bought a couple of old carpets last summer from an old guy (Nedko) who was very knowledgeable about painters – and lo his son Koso has a colourful 60 year-old Chiprovci kilim for me at 50 euros! It’s nice to see Ruhman again at Tsar Samuel ulice and, this time, I have my list of painters - many of which he has! So 2 Russi Ganchevs and one Petar Boyadjiev are now under consideration. Then off to my friend Yassev’s Konus Gallery (Xan Aslarich 32) who sells contemporary paintings but knows the older painters and with whom I always have great chats. This one is enlivened with some tasty Yambolski Raki – and a visit to a friend Biliana who has a new Gallery a few minutes away on Tsar Assen ul – all of these are tiny little streets. She has some superb large aquarelles by a 35 year-old Bansko artist Atanas Matsoureff – and also some tasty champagne! A woman worth knowing.
I raise with Yassen my idea of producing a booklet in English about Bulgarian painters of the last 100 years – and learn from Biliana that he comes from a literary family. He is also working with some friends to try to bring some honesty into the tricky market for older paintings. He is perhaps the partner I have been looking for! When I ask him about the absence of the trams, he raises some doubt about whether they will actually return to the area - whose future planning has some uncertainty. Alarm bells start to ring - since, as I;ve said above, the Sofia centre is a unique European asset for me.
To round off a great day, I also find opposite this new gallery the small one I had bought my Bahar sketches in (an eccentric bearded guy) and also stumble across another gallery which combines paintings with wine; a few books; and weekly happenings (chamber music; folk etc) I am invited to come on Thursday evening. The place is called „Snezana’?? At this rate Sofia could get a nice little niche for itself as a European art centre! And what's even more satisfying is that it apparently replaces one of these dreadful "Diesel" branches. Now that is real progress - although I have to wonder about the economics of the cavernous Gallery - even although it does rent the place out for business functions. I manoeuvre round the metro constructions works at the Sheraton and have to wait only one minute before a 22 tram picks me up at the Mosque. Now there's divine design!
The photo is one of the walls of my Bucharest flat - already replete with Bulgarian paintings. The large one is by Milko Kostadinov - whose paintings also grace the Snezana walls

A typical old consultant's day

I was in my element in the morning – first a 20 minute stroll to the great little gallery in Stan Stefano ulice on the lovely square in the university area (highlydesirable old residential quarter) where I am known. These guys (along with the Neros Gallery just off Hristo Botev Bvd) have just the paintings I love. This time they introduced me to two new painters – delicate landscapes by Georgy Christov Rubev (trained in Prague in the 1930s) but a bit pricey at 750 euros; and Veselin Tomev (trained in Munich) who had a large coastscape with the most superb sea blue for the same price.
Then InterNos Gallery which I eventually found (with a number 1 trolleybus) at 58b V Levsky Bvd (after a slight incident with a hoodie who refuses to let me out from the seat!). It’s a larger gallery – covering my favourite period of the mid 20th century - but doesn’t quite come up with the goods. They did however have one small Boris Stefchev – for 250 euros – and I am keen to add him to my collection (also Russe Ganchev; Dobre Dobrev).
I had a meeting at 13.00 with my landlord (for him to bring extra chairs; fix wireless internet etc) but had time to visit the Tourist Info Centre cunningly concealed in the underpass opposite the University Entrance – and also the bookshop next to it (for more music).
Connecting to the internet is always a problem when I hit a new country (less so in central asia!) – so don’t talk to me about European Integration! So basic! Why doesn;t a company like Vodaphone (with whom I have a good deal in Romania) offer me a deal in Bulgaria – just next door????? It takes 4 young Bulgarians 90 minutes to set up a wireless system for me. In the meantime I have to find my haggis dealer – his phone number is on my E-mail but Mirela comes to my rescue and I set up a meeting for the transfer!
Then off to my 15.30 meeting with my new BG consultancy company, Dicon – just 10 minutes up the road I am assured. I’ve been told to look for an office next to block 204. The first place I hit (a 2 storey furniture shop) I’m told is number 50 (it’s not marked) and they tell me 200 is far away - so I catch another bus which seems to take me away from civilisation and I hop off at the next stop. There are flurries of snow and my patience is starting to wear thin (why can’t people put themselves in the shoes of visitors????). I phone – and am quickly rescued – to return to the (exact) point from which I started (shades of TS Eliot). Number 50 sits next to another 2 storey building – blue with graffiti – which is the one I was seeking! I tell my contact that in future they should forget about the address – and simply describe the place as the „blue 2 storey building with the graffiti next to the furniture shop"!! They think I'm joking - but I'm deadly serious!
The meetings go well – but not the simple task of printing a few Burns’ poems. It’s a pdf file – and the system can’t cope! But eventually I get the four critical ones (Address to the Haggis; Tae a Louse; Tae a mouse; A man's a man for a' that)
I know Sofia from the 2007 project I led here - when I rented a great flat for 18 months. The project was to develop a capacity to train local officials in the implementation of the famed European Acquis. And, in the initial months when we trapped in a game going on between consultancy companies and a corrupt Ministry of Finance, I had some fun working on the implementation and "compliance" (the key EU word) concepts. I was cheeky enough to use a famous Burns' quote as the lead for the Inception Report -

The best-laid plans o'mice an' men
Ganf aft agley
An' leave us nought but grief an' pain
For promis'd joy

The haggis assignment takes place outside a theatre. I wonder if Andy has ever been accosted for drug dealing?? It’s now 18.30 and I still really don’t have the proper accoutrements for a Burns supper so, after picking up tatties, carrots and (the superb Bulgarian) leaks (but no naps), I phone around and get agreement that Rabbie’s do will be postponed 24 hours!!
The painting is a Petar Velchev I have - up in Sirnea.

Snowy sunday in Sofia

So much for my theory about the warmer weather in the south – I awake at 05.00 Sunday to the sight of the streets and buildings suffused in the yellow glow of street lighting with snow which has followed me south. I count my lucky stars that I decided to make a break for it yesterday rather than delaying until today when the road conditions will be horrific. Good also that I have brought my mountain boots in the car which I’ll need to struggle to the galleries and Knigomania bookshop today. But first another trip to the detested Mall – arriving just before it opened at 09.00 and had the place to myself. One of the cleaners was very helpful in taking me to get the papers stuff – I shook his hand – such kindness is becaming rare. Perhaps my (collapsible) aluminium stick helps!
I try to avoid the wine section – but, after picking up rye bread and gorganzola cheese, am drawn like a moth to a flame to the section – of course just to check what new brands there might be a year or so since I had the leisure for such an aesthetic trip. Katarszynski wines had something new but its too pricey – so I buy a Chardonnay from the Magret range I found a couple of years ago produced in the gangster lands at the Greek and Macedonian borders (3 .50 euros a bottle) and what purports to be a 2006 Brestovitza merlot reserve which I used to get from my wine cave on Macedonski Bvd (3 euros a bottle). The bottles are entirely for scientific purposes (!) – to test against the 2 euros a litre Romanian wines I have brought with me (the Romanian Recas white scores; and so does the Brestovitza which has a buttery finish) . Having dumped the produce in the flat, I found the ticket booth for the tram tickets open and was able to get a 22 tram to just beneath the lovely Alexander Nevsky Cathedral – few antique touts were braving the weather conditions in front – so I went on to the City Gallery which had just started an exhibition of Nikolay Boyadjiev (what’s the connection with Petar I wondered) – but it did not open until 11.00. Graffiti outside the empty little art kiosk just to the Gallery’s left tell me that „Danes are racists” What’s that about ??
So on to the Knigomania bookshop – near the British Embassy. Glad to see it’s (still) open – but slightly disappointed with the range (and prices). After an hour of browsing (and tempted only by Katharine Mansfield, Raymond Chandler and Ernest Hemingway) I emerge with a nice edition of Louis de Bernieres Birds without wings about the emptying of the Greek Anatolian villages a century ago - I had left my hardback copy in the library of the Azeri Civil Service Agency. My knees are beginning to ache – but I wanted to get back to see the City Gallery’s special exhibition – picking up a couple of discs to have for the music system (Cesar Franck; and Giuliani) and also an update of the great little guide of the Bulgarian Association for alternative tourism www.baatbg.org which gave me a couple of years fantastic prices (12 euros) for superb rural accomodation here. A must!! And prices are still very reasonable.
I was very taken with the N Boyadjiev exhibition – the first, it claimed, since his death in 1963. He was born in 1904 and, according to the publicity sheet, was kicked out of the Painters’ Association just before his death for refusing to toe the line on socialist realism (as so many of the younger PhD generation is now toeing the line on EU integration!!).

Beating the snow - drive to Sofia

Snow forecast for all Saturday in Bucharest – but just a flurry at 07.00 as I drove off, alone, for first a Russe meeting at 09.00 with Zhechka my great local colleague on the project 2 years ago who has an office both in her home town and in Sofia. The flurries grew thicker as I crossed the Danube at 08.30; bought my Bulgarian road vignette for the year (34 euros not bad) and met up with Z who took me to her office for coffee and briefing - she tells me she managed to get the rent of an office suite (and shared common facilities – an entire floor) dropped to 200 euros a month! The route she led me to exit Russe took me past some great fin de siecle buildings (by the gorge) and, with some trepidation, I joined the snow-flecked highway – thinking I would be lucky to make my 16.00 meeting in Sofia with my Italian friend Enzo’s landlord but in the event – with the snow flakes disappearing as I had anticipated as I headed south - I was able to phone him at 14.00 (on the start of the Balkan mountains highway) to report that I would be an hour early!
I had had some initial difficulty finding a place to rent for 2 weeks when, just over a week ago, the Dicon company announced that my presence would be appreciated on 25 and 26 January for the start of the training activities of the project of which I am (titular) Team Leader.
Initially they said they would be happy to recomend a flat for me (they have, after all, a local office – and experience of people needing short-term rents). I refused the palace their agency first offered me – and accepted the next 2 (they had problems paying a deposit for me!) but, when I said I wanted a small dining table to celebrate Rabbie Burns’ birthday, the letting agency warned me that their flats were not suitable for „meetings and parties”!
My bawdy reputation of laughter and poetry must have spread from 2001 Tashkent and 2008 Sofia! Assuring them of my respectability and sobriety (and calling my previous landlady here into the lists – the widow of a Bulgarian Ambassador), they first graciously accepted and then (after overnight reflection) rescinded. I consider this quite a feather in my cap at my age!
And (to continue the metaphor) hats off to Enzo – whose friend Blago came to the rescue (at very short notice) with a flat they normally don’t offer for short-term rentals. It’s for long-term rentals to Bulgarians who normally bring their own facilities – so it lacked the basics – eg kettles, pots and pans, knives and forks, reading lamps, radio, bedding (!!) – so Blago was very good in trekking around with me to get this stuff in. A young man with a majority shareholding in his own (property company), he drives a plush Mercedes – as do all the best young men like my friend Ivo (I almost said Iago!). And Zhechka tells me that my young (ever so diplomatic and skilful) friend from the Institute of Public Administration here in 2007/08 is not only still there – but is now the Director!!
I’m always happy to drive down the pass from the Balkans into the bowl of Sofia – the first time I saw it (on my way to Thassos in early summer 2007), I was horrified by the smog which concealed the famous Vitosha mountain which towers over the central pedestrian st (Vitosha) where our office was. But I’ve seen glorious views of the mountain as I’ve completed my drives from Bucharest (to emulate the painting I have). Today fog and smog prevented vision. Another disappointment was the experience of yet another fucking shopping mall (Siderca – 10 minutes walk away from the flat). But this latest is so huge that we actually got lost in it. Typically neither the flat nor the mall had any reading lamps (stupid man! But the Bucharest IKEA has such fantastic deals so there have to be some readers here!). At least there is a wine barrel shop nearby (from Divin no less – not far from Romanian Recas the other side of the Danube whose Pint Griș/Riesling I have actually brought with me – for Burns’ night - in a 5 litre drum)
Neither the central heating nor the internet is yet operational in the flat – but heating is adequate – and 48 hours without access to the internet is an excellent discpline – not least encouraging me to read some of the large volume of stuff I:ve downloaded in the last few months!
The painting is a Dobre Dobrev

academic amnesia

I mentioned some time back O Wright’s Envisioning Real Utopias – whose entire book I had downloaded (for free). I had read the first few pages; (literally) skimmed the rest to get a sense of its coverage (Mondragon and Port Alegre looked worthy case studies) and kept it on desktop rather than placing in my „alternatives” file to encourage reading. But it has not, since, drawn me in – and a very tough review on what should be a sympathetic site – Dissent - tells me that my laziness has saved me from wasting my time! Apart from the other faults listed in the review, the book’s 287 pages have apparently less than 40 pages on the 4 case studies (whose haphazard selection is not justified); even worse, desite the title, there is no referencing to other writing on „realistic”utopias! The book apparently reflects the incestuous, self-referencing world of an academic (American) sociologist.
We are so overwhelmed by books and learned articles that one of the first things I look for in such works is an indication that the author is familiar with and references what has gone before – as Google Scholar puts it – „stand on the shoulders of giants”. Otherwise we are reinventing the broken wheel - going round in circles – letting the blind lead the blind – whatever metaphor you care to use. I criticised Will Hutton’s most recent book for this weakness in relation to recent discussions about inequality. A recent article in Political Quarterly (by an Australian Professor – Ian Marsh) displayed the same amnesia. I can't give a link to the article but you can get a sense of his particular intellectual baggage here. His review looked at the change mechanisms behind the „deliverology” of the last New Labour Government as justified in books by Michael Barber and Julian le Grand. Le Grand (who has the better pedigree) suggests there are 4 basic mechanisms - professional trust; targets; voice and markets. Barber has three - command and control (targets); quasi-markets; and devolutiona and transparency.
The three authors seem unaware of two classification schemes produced 15 years ago by the 2 key writers about public reform – Guy Peters and Chris Hood.
Peters suggests that administrative reform can be reduced to four schools of thinking - "market models"; "the Participatory State"; "Flexible Government"; and "Deregulated Government". Like Peters, Hood attempts to reduce the whole literature on admin reform to four basic schools. He uses grid-group theory (“grid” denotes the degree to which our lives are circumscribed by rules – “group” indicates the extent to which we are governed by group choice) to give a matrix of -
- Hierarchist (high on both)
- Individualist (low on both)
- Egalitarian (high on group; low on grid)
- Fatalist (high on grid; low on group)

Marsh seemed to think that the answer lies in the work of C Sabel whom I vaguely remember writing in the 1990s about the modern northern Italian craft complexes and who is now into deliberative discourse stuff which again makes little or no reference to the theories of administrative reform and organisational change (Gerry Stoker is much better on this.)Instead it gets us into the highly incestuous and opaque field of European studies – many of whose contributors seem to be young, with no experience of life and living off European Union grants.

I realise that, by now, I should know better than to bother with Google Scholar and the academic turds it fishes up. But (like consultancy) there are so many hundreds of thousands of robots being churned out from the academic factories that some of us have to keep track of the poison. And yes - I will admit to some prejudice here (!) – and would be happy to be persuaded out of my cynicism. But I am happy to have the chance to use a (1940s Port Glasgow) Stanley Spencer painting so quickly after mentioning the series he did. It's "Riveters" - and so appropriate!

West of Scottish bards, comics and painters

First, congratulations to the West of Scotland poet and dramatist, Liz Lochhead, who was yesterday appointed to the position of national poet (or „makar”) – a position invented a few years ago by the First Minister of the new Scottish Government and held first by Edwin Muir. Ironically the only poem of Lochhead’s which seems to be online is the entitled "Poets need not be garlanded":

Anyway, it’s a nice idea – although I’m a great fan of Tom Leonard’s poetry myself but he generally writes in a strong West of Scotland accent – the good thief will give you the idea (you need to know that the thief is hanging on a cross and speaking to Jesus!).
That poem led me onto the Billy Connolly’s scabrous humour In addition to explaining some of the words, I also pointed out to Daniela one of the historical specialities of these quality West of Scotland comics (Greenock-born Chic Murray was the best) who simply took the meaning of common phrases and words apart – eg „Ï rang the bell – what else can you do with it?”.

Interesting that the poet WS Graham (much admired by TS Eliot)who so focussed on words and their fragility should also (like me) be from that town. And also quite a clutch of writers - John Galt, Davidson, George Blake, Alan Sharp,Ian Banks (briefly and in Gourock), playwright Bill Bryden and David Ashton(ne Scott) - the last 2 classmates of mine.

I realised that I will be in Sofia on January 25th – the birthday of Scotland’s real national bard – Rabbie Burns - and will try to arrange a small „do”for my friends there to celebrate the man and his life and works (and Bulgarian, Italian, Romanian and Scottish poets – Italian for my friend Enzo will be present). Doubtless the hapless Hristov Botev will be one of the Bulgarian poets – the”romantic revolutionary” (against Ottoman rule) who must vie with Bonnie Prince Charlie for the title of The historical figure who "couldn'ae manage a menage” ("hopelessly impractical” in West of Scotland patois – except that I can’t find it online!

Haggis then jumped to mind ("it has that habit" - as Connolly or Chic Murray might have said) and I remembered that Sofia had an outfit which delivers British products to the door. Sure enough Andy was quick to reply and a couple of haggi (??) will duly wing their way to the flat next week - provided that is that I can find a flat! The local company with which I am working - Dicon - has proved very inefficient so far in that respect.
But, with 10 litres of good Dealu Mare and Recas red and white wine from Romania, we will toast absent friends such as Daryoush, Jacek and Zulfiya – with whom I have celebrated these evenings.
This - plus some Bulgarian wine which I have missed - should be enough for 8 people!!

Bought a copy yesterday of my favourite newspaper – Le Monde – it said it all that it devoted at least 5 full pages to the development in Tunisia. Can you imagine a british newspaper doing that??

I was trying to find a suitable industrial landscape painting of West of scotland online - but couldn't. Andy Hay did some great stuff a few decades back on shipbuilding (as did Stanley Spencer during the war) but this is the only painting I could find of his. And the great Stanley Spencer is very badly served by the War Museum who have all his Port Glasgow shipbuilding paintings but don't display any of them on their website!

All praise to poetry, the way it has
of attaching itself to a familiar phrase
in a new way, insisting it be heard and seen.
Poets need no laurels, surely?
their poems, when they can make them happen -- even rarely --
crown them with green.

Chinese administrative reforms in international perspective

OK out there – all thousands of you – the moment you have been waiting for has arrived! I have completed my paper for the Euro-Sino dialogue on administrative reform and all 35 pages and 72 footnotes are duly waiting for you here. To be fair, only about 20 odd pages are my own work – the rest is text gratefully borrowed from project ToR; the likes of Colin Talbot (who delivered a lecture in Beijing last year which I have reproduced as an annex); and the lists of books)
I am keen to get up the hill at the back because I leave today – and, typically, it is the most glorious weather of the entire week. Cloudless blue sky (except over the Bucegi peaks) but with a sharp white frost on the ground

The last thing I had to do this morning before converting the text to pdf and zinging it to the website was a Coda which I perhaps too quickly drafted – its peroration goes like this -

One has to respect the dignified way in which national power in China is shared in the party leadership; policies are hammered out behind the scenes in a dialogue which involves academics; and formal positions of nationals leadership pass in a regularised way from person to person every decade.
Perhaps no leaders in world history have ever had the responsibilities and expectations which those of China have today. Having achieved a remarkable economic transformation and wealth, the leaders of this massive country are now expected to deal with pollution and the poverty in which so much of its people still live; the inequity and systemic corruption; and also achieve a peaceful achievement to a system of Rule of Law.
Those who have the combination of audacity and good fortune to go to the country to assist those efforts – whether in teaching or consultancy – should have the humility to admit that they have no answers.
Not, of course, that their hosts expect that from their visitors. They have their own context and processes of and capacity for policy experimentation, deliberation and decision. They are painfully aware of their weaknesses; and look to their visitors for something which, unfortunately, seems to be in short supply – historical understanding. That is to say the ability to articulate the processes by which, for example, Nordic countries transformed themselves into the societies in which they are today. Sadly, western technocrats have colluded in recent decades to destroy a lot of that.
If a Euro-Sino dialogue can restore some memory and respect for what Europe had, it will indeed have been worthwhile.

wood and wisdom

There is little more satisfying in winter than raising a good axe above your head in the open air and bringing it down with a swift, so professional, movement to split a suitably sawn and well-seasoned chunk of wood! I take some pride in having heated myself, in my recent sojourns here, only with the wood from the branches I sawed from the 2 garden trees in the autumn (OK I take the nip off the air in my study with a burst from the electric heater!).
I made the mistake last week of using some logs which had not dried properly in the spare room – and so have now chopped some which have been in the open air and therefore season better. They are now in the bedroom, having a last bit of seasoning in the warmth of the bedroom (whose stove went out 15 hours ago but whose bricks continue to keep the room iincredibly warm). I will not need to light the fire again beforee my departure tomorrow. I’m off to Sofia for a couple of weeks - some business on a small training project I have there; meet old friends (including the wine!); and visit the art galleries for more paintings.
I’ve just taken the laptop out on the verandah after clearing the ashes from the bedroom fire to protect it from the ash particles and find that I can sit comfortably on the verandah – in mid January at 1,400 metres in the Carpathians (well for 15 minutes!) Great sounds – birds, folk music from somewhere and the inevitable sound of a power saw.
I’m now in the last stage of the paper relating to Chinese adminsitrative reform – over the week-end it grew an important section summarising (for me and the Chinese) the last 40 years’ history of reform efforts! This morning, therefore, I had to return to the start and explain the purpose of and audience for the paper. It has been written for anyone engaged in discussions about administrative reform in China – whether Chinese or foreign. The project I was to have led last year there was not only designed to assist indigenous reform efforts – but also service an EU-China dialogue about administrative reform. Perhaps, as a good Scot, I feel guilty about walking away from that – and want to make amends! Right now I am looking at a blank section with the headline „Coda” in which I want to leave some brief, final injunctions about reform endeavours. Any ideas? I think I want to say something about "balance" - relating to recent comments here about that. At the moment I have only two extended quotations – the first a TS Eliot poem which always crops up in my writing; the second Rosabeth Kanter’s 10 rules for stifling initiative.
I’ll sign off with the poem -

So here I am, in the middle way, having had twenty years -
Trying to learn to use words, and every attempt
Is a wholly new start, and a different kind of failure
Because one has only learnt to get the better of words
For the thing one no longer has to say, or the way in which
One is no longer disposed to say it. And so each venture
Is a new beginning, a raid on the inarticulate
With shabby equipment always deteriorating
In the general mess of imprecision of feeling,
Undisciplined squads of emotion. And what there is to conquer
By strength and submission, has already been discovered
Once or twice, or several times, by men whom one cannot hope
To emulate - but there is no competition -
There is only the fight to recover what has been lost
And found and lost again and again; and now under conditions
That seem unpropitious. But perhaps neither gain nor loss
For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.

TS Eliot; The Four Quartets