The last post was a bit of a confessional one – which still managed to conceal something. What I was really trying to get off my chest was that I have to recognise that I have always been a bit “distant” in my relations with others. Indeed, as a young politician who was quickly given responsibilities, I was seen as a bit arrogant – when that was the last thing I actually felt. It was rather a defence mechanism. Ernest Schumacher (author of "Small is Beautiful" put our usual approach into superb perspective in 1973 when he wrote -
"There
are four sorts of worthwhile learning
· learning
about things
- learning about oneself
· learning how others see us
· learning how we see others"
I was slow to learn about
myself – let alone the other dimensions. Despite undergoing some sessions of psychotherapy
in the
late 1980s, I was too much of a “word merchant” to allow mere words to get
inside my brain and challenge my being.
It’s
only recently I’ve
been willing to be open about that experience all of 30 plus years ago which,
at the time, it wasn’t possible to discuss. Philip Toynbee was one of the rare
people who had actually written about it – I learned later that Winston
Churchill used the euphemism of “black dog” to refer to his episodes. And about
the only popular book about the subject was Dorothy Rowe’s Depression
– a way out of your prison (1983)
How times have changed – with credit being due to characters such as Stephen Fry and Alasdair Campbell who were amongst the first to go public and to encourage others to be open about a condition which touches most of us at some time in our lives.
One of my favourite books is Robin Skynner and John
Cleese’s Life
– and how to survive it (1993) A therapist and leading British comic have a
Socratic dialogue about the initial stages of everyone’s development – as
babies weaning ourselves from our mothers, learning about the wider environment
and coping with our feelings. The understanding the principles of healthy
(family) relationships and then use these to explore the preconditions for
healthy organisations and societies: and for leadership viz -
- valuing and respecting others
- ability to communicate
- willingness to wield authority firmly but always for the general welfare and
with as much consultation as possible while handing power back when the crisis
is over)
- capacity to face reality squarely
- flexibility and willingness to change
- belief in values above and beyond the personal or considerations of party.
It took a massive change of role and circumstances before I came across an early edition of “A Manager’s Guide to Self-Development” by Mike Pedler et al which made me aware of a range of self-evaluation tools such as the Belbin Test of team roles which you can try out on yourself here. When I did it for the first time with my team of the moment, it was quite a revelation. I had assumed that I was a “leader”. What I discovered was that I was a “resource person” ie good at networking and sharing information – which was exactly right.
Harrison and Bramson’s The Art of Thinking (1982) was also a revelation for me - indicating that people have very different ways of approaching problems and that we will operate better in teams if we understand (a) what our own style is and (b) that others think in different ways. The authors suggest we have 5 styles – “synthetist”, “pragmatist”, “idealist”, “realist” and “analyst” and, of course, combinations thereof. I regret now that I was such a late learner - the question I now have is how people can avoid my fate. Is it enough that there are so many books around for people to stumble on? Or should it now be an integral part of undergraduate work? Perhaps it is?
My
fellow blogger Dave Pollard
has these questions to ask ourselves
