Human nature is something we talk about as if affected only other people – but not us!
Robert
Greene is one of these authors – like Alain de
Botton – many people are reluctant to admit to reading. They write well and
often thoughtfully – but they’re popular damn it!
You
can read Greene for yourself via this post
from a couple of years ago about his book on the “48 Laws of Power”.
He
does, admittedly, use a basic formulae for all his books – find some historical
characters to illustrate your theme; select one incident and/or characteristic;
generalize; and draw out some lessons for the reader’s own behavior. In that
sense his books can be placed in the “Self-help” category – never a serious
one! But they come beautifully designed with red text in the margin summarizing
the basic incidents and lessons.
His
latest book, The
Laws of Human Nature, (he offers 18) notes how often we are disappointed and undermined by the behaviour of colleagues and bosses; offers us early warning signs to identify – as well
as tactics for dealing with perverse behavior. It starts with a typical story
about Pericles to illustrate a point about irrationality and ends with a couple
of important explorations of generational differences and the fear of death
which I’ve excluded from this table. And I've now discovered the full book here
The Behaviour
|
Historical example
|
Lesson
|
Narcissim
Many
people tend to focus on and admire themselves more than others. This hinders
their success when interacting with others
|
Stalin
|
You
need to transform self-love into empathy. This will make you more successful
in your group
|
Role
playing
People
tend to wear the mask that shows them in the best possible light. They hide
their true personality.
|
Milton
Erickson — an American
psychiatrist and psychologist of 20th century — was paralysed
when he was young and became a master reader of people;s body language.
|
Master
the body language by transforming yourself into a superior reader of men and
women. At the same time you must learn how to present the best front
|
Compulsive
behavior
People
never do something just once. They will inevitably repeat their bad behavior
|
Train
yourself to look deep within people and see their character. Always gravitate
toward those who display signs of strength, and avoid the many toxic types
out there.
|
|
Covetousness
|
Coco Chanel — a French
fashion designer and business woman — became so
successful by understanding that people desire what they don’t have and creating an air of
mystery around her work.
|
Become
an elusive object of desire
|
Myopia
People
tend to overreact to present circumstances
|
The
South Sea Company — a British
joint-stock company founded in 1711 — became known
as the South Sea Bubble.
|
Think
both near and long-term future
|
Defensiveness
People
don’t like when someone is trying to change their opinion.
|
Lyndon
Johnson — the 36th
president of the United States — gained his
influence and power by focusing on others, letting them do the talking,
letting them be the stars of the show.
|
Soften
people’s resistance by confirming their self-opinion.
.
|
Self
Sabotage
Our
attitude determines much of what happens in our life.
|
Anton
Chekhov — a Russian playwright
and short-story writer — had a tough
childhood but in spite of that was able to change his life by changing his
view of the world from negative to positive.
|
Change
your attitude
|
Repression
People
are rarely who they seem to be. Lurking beneath their polite, affable
exterior is inevitably a dark, shadow side consisting of insecurities and aggressive, selfish impulses
|
Richard
Nixon had a positive image in the public. Everything changed after
the Watergate scandal which revealed his hidden
personality.
|
Be
aware of your dark side
|
Envy
|
|
Learn
to deflect envy by drawing attention away from yourself. Develop your sense
of self-worth from internal standards and not incessant comparisons.
|
Grandiosity
Even
a small measure of success can give us an unrealistic sense of superiority.
This can make us lose contact with reality and make irrational decisions.
|
Michael
Eisner had to resign from the CEO position of The Walt Disney
Company. In the author’s opinion the cause is Eisner’s grandiosity elevated
by previous successes.
|
Counteract
the pull of grandiosity by maintaining a realistic assessment of yourself and
your limits. Tie any feelings of greatness to your work, your achievements,
and your contributions to society.
|
Gender rigidity
|
Caterina
Sforza was a powerful an Italian noblewoman whose masculine
qualities helped her to achieve her influence.
|
You
must become aware of lost masculine or feminine traits and slowly
reconnect to them,
|
Aimlessness
People
become most successful when they have a sense of purpose in their life
|
Martin
Luther King Jr. is best known for advancing civil rights through
nonviolence and civil disobedience. His calling directed his actions and
helped him go through many failures in his life.
|
|
Conformity
In
the group setting, we unconsciously imitate what others are saying and doing.
We feel different emotions, infected by the group mood. We are more prone to
taking risks, to acting irrationally, because everyone else is.
|
Mao’s
Cultural revolution
Gao
Yuan tells a story in his book Born Red showed
that people in groups behave emotional and excited. They don’t engage in
nuanced thinking and deep analysis.
|
Develop
self-awareness and a superior understanding of the changes that occur in us
in groups. With such intelligence, we can become superior social actors, able
to outwardly fit in and cooperate with others on a high level, while
retaining our independence and rationality.
|
Fickleness
People
are always ambivalent about rulers
|
Elizabeth
I — Queen of
England and Ireland in 16th century — had to constantly
prove herself as the leader of the country. She never relied on her royal
blood for this.
|
Authority
is the delicate art of creating the appearance of power, legitimacy, and
fairness while getting people to identify with you as a leader who is in
their service. If you want to lead, you must master this art from early on in
your life.
|
Aggression
|
John
D. Rockefeller — American oil industry
business magnate — used aggressive
strategies to gain power and control.
|
The
dangerous types depend on making you emotional — afraid, angry — and unable to
think straight. Do not give them this power. When
it comes to your own aggressive energy, learn to tame and channel it for
productive purposes
|
Generational
Myopia
You
are born into a generation that defines who you are more than you can imagine.
Your generation wants to separate itself from the previous one and set a new
tone for the world. In the process, it forms certain tastes, values, and ways
of thinking that you as an individual internalize. As you get older, these
generational values and ideas tend to close you off from other points of view,
constraining your mind.
Awareness
of this will free your mind from the mental constraints placed on you by your
generation, and you will become more of the individual you imagine yourself to
be, with all the power that freedom will bring you.
Fear
of Death
The
inevitability of death should be continually on our minds. Understanding the
shortness of life fills us with a sense of purpose and urgency to realize our
goals. Training ourselves to confront and accept this reality makes it easier
to manage the inevitable setbacks, separations, and crises in life. It gives us
a sense of proportion, of what really matters in this brief existence of ours.
Most people continually look for ways to separate themselves from others and
feel superior. Instead, we must see the mortality in everyone, how it equalizes
and connects us all. By becoming deeply aware of our mortality, we intensify
our experience of every aspect of life.
By
way of comparison here’s a very short little article on “the 10 essential virtues”
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